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April 8, 2011

Online Marketing Explained with Reference to Cows – Guest Blog by David Mercer

Starting a new blog or website can be a bit of a trial, but it’s almost always more of a challenge to get people to come and visit it at first. Inevitably you end up having to go and read up on online marketing and that’s where the fun and games begin.

If you’ve ever struggled to understand the lingo when it comes to promoting a website or blog online then the following list of definitions should help you to find your way around.

Social marketing
You have a cow.
You show some friends a clip of a man being hit in the crotch.
They tell their friends who pay money to come and look at your cow.

Social media
You have a cow.
You tell your friends.
People start listening to what you have to say.

Affiliate marketing

Your neighbor has a cow.
You show a film clip of a man being hit in the crotch.
You charge people to go see your neighbor’s cow.

You have a cow.
You put it on the side of the road.
People stop to look at it.

You have a cow.
You put it in the middle of the road, stopping traffic.
A few morons buy some viagra from you, making the initiative profitable.


You have a cow.
You put up a road sign with “Cow” in the title.
Passers by stop to look at your cow; you charge them for parking and sell them lemonade.

You have a cow.
You write a novel about it.
A pig farmer copies your novel, paraphrases and publishes it as his own.

You and your neighbor each have a cow.
You both put signs up to advertise your cows.
You pay someone to move your sign directly in front of the neighbor’s in the middle of the night.

You have a cow.
People pay you to paint their logos onto your cow.
Your cow looks like a billboard.

ROI (Return On Investment)
You have a cow.
You pay $50 to dye it pink.
People flock to buy tickets to see your cow; you earn $1000.

You have a cow.
You refurbish the barn.
More people pay to look at the cow.


You have a cow.
No one cares.

If you still don’t understand online marketing…

Don’t have a cow, man.

David Mercer,, is one of the most experienced technical writers in the world today, having contributed to books that have have been translated into virtually every major language in the world.